courage...

it takes more courage to do certain things than others. haiz. today feel very sian... cos didnt hav the courage to do what i actually planned to do... i wonder if i just lost my opportunity... haiz... must live with it... who ask myself do not have courage to do such a simple thing... haiz... sadded...

Despair...

haiz... today jus shot out of my mouth and hurt someone that i really care for... sian... somehow still cant change that part of me... i really cant help it... Why!?! although she doesnt show it, i think she is feeling very hurt right now... who noes maybe she even crying.. haiz... how can i change myself? i really don want to hurt anyone else anymore... really in despair....

A candle in the darkness

was looking around a lot of my frens blogs and have noticed somethings they said abt me. the things they said touched me deeply and for once, i felt that i was no longer alone, and actually had frens that truly cared. for that, i want to say a sincere," thank u"

Liking someone?

meant to post this some time ago... the other time, jianning was asking something abt having[or not] something on the finger. and he said that it tells whether u hav someone that u like... apparently, it says that there is someone i like, and i acknowledge this fact. the problem is, i dont really noe who is it that i like.. sounds a bit lame but i donno whether i am indecisive or whatever, but the thing is, what is liking someone? cos i dont even noe if i really like anyone. haiz... will this be another worry? or jus something that will pass...

Trouble???

now that voting is over, the wait begins...
this days, i somehow feel that there is trouble brewing. hearing things abt council candidates that freeze up my insides, thinking of how the 9th council will end up, with the 8th already so good... also there are ppl around me who are starting to show a bit of their killing intent... i think they might be feeling that i am getting too close for their comfort to certain ppl they hold special in their lives... what to do, i jus hope trouble does not start...

Pain...

why are things like this? why is it that now i am unable to make my own decisions? nowadays, other than my weaknesses not being improved on, my strengths hav also blunted... what should i do... i cant even keep up with my work... should i still join council? even if i get in[which is already highly unlikely} is it worth... what should i choose... really in pain...

New Laptop!

Yeah! went to the it fair ytd n finally i got a laptop![ actually was there to catcha movie] anyway, now with a laptop it's more convenient to come online... don need to snatch with my sis for the com... haha... that's all for now...