放弃?

haiz... very 乱 recently... so many things happening to my life... cant even concentrate in class... can concentrate to finish homework... cant concentrate to even play games... seriously... wth is happening... god or buddha or whoever exists... what have i done to deserve this? if there is cause and effect present, what hav i done in my past life so that i deserve all that is happening to me now? haiz...

wth lah...

fine... i am that lousy... apparently must need 'HELP' to do work. apparently ppl think that i cant do work with distraction.

haiz... i jus don get it... if to be able to do work,
my life has to be like that... and feel that i need to be useless, i rather not be able to do work...if that is what is needed, to selfishly hav u by my side... at least as a fren...



as for asking me to forget u, haiz... how to? in the short time that we have known each other, so many things have happened le... how u expect me to forget? not ur fault lah... but so u think cos we in same class maybe cant forget so u want to make me hate u? all it does is cause hurt and pain... bcos jus somehow will feel that way for u to need to make u hurt me... which i don think i can even bring myself to it... haiz...



我真的很烦阿... 为什么需要这样呢? 连朋友都不可以当阿? 真的需要这么做阿? 我真的无法恨你... 你别勉强我...我只会更伤心... "原来爱情那么伤..."haiz... 为和生命是这样...

anyway, i think got two songs that area exactly what i feeling lah... even to the lyrics... haiz...
well, the two songs are: 告诉我 and 原来爱情这么伤... below are the lyrics...

告诉我：
看沉默的电话它什么都不说
看电视的画面它无声的闪动
看街上的行人跟我擦肩而过
整个世界太冷漠
我没有力气再往前走

看你紧闭的嘴唇它什么都不说
看你飘忽的眼神它无情的闪躲
看你和我的回忆跟我擦肩而过
你的改变太冷漠
我没有勇气大声地说

告诉我
你不是真的离开我
你也不愿这样的夜里把难过留给我
告诉我
你不是真的离开我
你是要惩罚我的爱让你失去自由
告诉我...

原来爱情那么伤:
我睁开眼睛却感觉不到天亮
东西吃一半莫名其妙哭一场
我忍住不想时间变得更漫长
也与你有关否则又开始胡思乱想

我日月无光忙得不知所以然
找朋友交谈其实全帮不上忙
以为会习惯有你在才是习惯
你曾住在我心上
现在空了一个地方

原来爱情这么伤
比想像中还难
泪水总是不听话
幸福躲起来不声不响
太多道理太牵强
道理全是一样
说的时候很简单
爱上后却阵脚大乱

只想变得坚强
强到能够去忘
无所谓悲伤
只要学会抵抗

原来爱情这么伤
原来爱情是这样
这样峰回路转
泪水明明流不干
瞎了眼还要再爱一趟
有一天终于打完
思念的一场战
回过头再看一看
原来爱情那么伤
下次还会不会这样...

anyway,YOU pls don worry... 因为如果你在想这些都是你造成的, it's not... there are other things that happened... but then again, this is what hurts me the most...
你希望你从悲伤走出来， 我也想...
只是, 真的没力气了... 我真的那么没用... 对不起...

你做出了对的决定... 跟我这种人在一起, 你才会没有结果, 更悲伤... 我真的已经走头无路了...
haiz..."好眼泪坏眼泪"吧... 还有, "当你孤单你会想起谁"(revised version, u noe what i mean)


现在我觉得自己很坏, 我所做的只是让你伤心而以, 把痛苦带来你那快乐的一生...